Ashes roundup: “How shit must you be, we won one in Aus”

Hi, looks like I completely ignored the 5th test, my bad.

It was crap anyway, but at least it lasted a little while I think? I can’t really remember to be honest. Pretty sure Bethell got a ton, so that’s something!

Many would label this as a tour to forget for England, but I think we should switch the narrative so we all feel a little bit better.

Root got TWO tons, the lads enjoyed some sunshine and refreshing lager beers, and we got a shiny young new toy we can heap pressure on until it inevitably breaks. All is good with the world.

I am fizzing my knickers at the prospect of this England side visiting Australia in 2030, we will surely be favourites to win.

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